Becoming the Zoolander of Snowboarding

Bet none of you mother lovers knew I was an artistic genius?  I know what you're thinking; 'Why has she waited so long to share her drawing talents?'  Well, I've come out of retirement as the best way to show you what's going on with this whole learning to Snowboard escapade.

Pictures would of been more ideal, but as I
a) don't have a reliable little camera
b) have been mostly practicing alone
but above all
c)  am a little embarrassed at how ungraceful I am at this point on my board and therefore, I'm not desperate to get photographic evidence.

And so I took fifteen minutes out of my busy schedule to give you these diagrams.  As discussed in my first attempt at snowboarding,  I know how to do the following:

- Go down Straight
- Go down horizonal using my heels to control (diagram above)
- Go from side to side like so....

But where I'm finding difficulty is using my toes when facing backwards, so I can go down with my lead leg forward. I think I'm 'goofy' (right leg forward) but that could all change with playing about and practicing. This has led to me unable to 'Turn left.' When I explained this to my other half, his reply was 'What? like Zoolander?' Yes. I also have this disability, except on a board, not on the runway.  However, after my last practice I did in fact turn left!!!! But there was very little control and when I start to go too fast, I freak out and turn right as I know I can stop it.

And so the learning continues. Perhaps one day I'll be doing this....

Unfortunately, I need two things to keep learning; practice and someone to instruct, and right now lady luck is not smiling at me. It seems on my days off either the weather takes a nose dive or a willing 'instructor' (at the moment I can't afford to pay for private lessons and so am dependent on friends to come out and give me pointers) is not available.  Its becoming a long process but I'm determined to get there.

P.S: You'll be glad to hear I'm trying to sort out an exhibition at the Tate Modern. I'm pretty hopeful that my 'Stick woman' series will be awarded the $750,000 funding it requires.